Today’s society is moving much faster than what it used to just decades ago. Maybe you are too young to know how the world is before the internet. Whatever it is the fast pace of our lives today makes relationship seems to be very fragile and often we have to save relationship that we are in because somehow something went wrong!
The funny thing about the new world is that we can know the thoughts of each other from twitter and facebook. Couples fell in love without even seeing the person in front of them. As quickly as boyfriend gets girlfriend, it vanishes in an instant also. Are you to be blamed for what is happening? No…not entirely. Do you have to go through the pain of breakup?
Well the fact is not all relationship ends in a breakup. So cheer up. And if yours happen to be on the verge of separation there are ways to go about saving your relationship. The important thing is to understand that fundamental element which makes relationships work. In this context we are talking about a love relationship between the couple.
The foundation of the relationship is like the foundation of a building. If you make it deep and strong, then the building will likely withstand the storm that is coming. If the foundation is flimsy, then a strong gust can topple it. What are the keys to strong and happy relationship?
Long term relationship is based on having lots of mutual interests, respect for one another and good communication throughout. Let us look at it in more detail.
There is a difference between falling in love and being in love. The former is very highly emotional and based on the spur of the moment. This occurs when you first meet your loved ones, it is pure chemistry. Scientists have proven this to be true, that there is a certain chemical reaction when you fall in love. However it doesn’t last forever. After some time, you are sort of immune from the same dosage. What keeps many couples together after the initial attraction is they have some common hobbies or passions. That’s why many of these couples have their partner as their best friends. You share a lot of common topics and have many things to talk about. Who will get bored if they have such a partner?
It is not too late. There are things that bring both of you together besides chemistry. Look back to what are the topics that both of you love when you first started. Begin from there and explore other “joint-interest” that provides you with fun time. This can be anything ranging from sports, food, volunteering. It not only makes good use of your time, it makes the relationship stronger, healthier and happier!
In addition to interest, respect is another key ingredient. One of the top reasons why couples have relationship problems is that one or both partners do not have respect for the other. Imagine how it would be like to live with a person who constantly degrades you. It may end up with one person having low self-esteem, constant fight and becoming less and less attracted to each other. A note here- Be careful with what you say, the words that you use may be just a joke or something, but it has impact. If you constantly call your partner, “That fatso” or “The nerd” it not only sounds bad, it generated negative vibes for everyone. If you truly want to save your relationship, list down all the negative words or phrases and satirical remarks that you have and consciously change to positive ones or at least neutral ones. Don’t say anything if you can’t come up with anything good.
The next ingredient is to have good communication. Miscommunication can cause a lot of mess. Always make things clear and listen when your partner is speaking. Do you know the difference between hearing and listening? Hearing is just a matter of your ears knowing that there is sound but you may not be paying any attention at all. Have you find yourself talking for five minutes and found out that your partner or some other person have not understood what you say even though they are right in front of you? They may be busy thinking of their dates or tomorrow’s plan etc. Have you been guilty of that? Listening is when you empty your mind and focus on what the person is saying. Only after they have finished speaking will you think of how to reply etc. This is a powerful method. There are retreats done solely on this where participants are asked to deeply listen. Are you surprised that at the end of the retreat many have fallen in love to the person who listen so intently to what they say?
The above methods are powerful techniques to save relationship if you put them into practice. A ton of theory is not worth an ounce of practice! The only way to salvage your relationship is by taking action, you have been given the formula, now it is up to you!
Steve is a part time blogger who occasionally contributes articles to blogs related to physical abuse . He also works as a news editor in well known news paper company .