divorce

Helping Children Through Divorce

Jan 30 • How To, Love, Parenting • 2785 Views • No Comments on Helping Children Through Divorce

A divorce can be very stressful for the whole family.

It can be especially stressful for your children. They may feel their world is out of control. This is why it is important that you and the other parent interact in responsible and productive manner. Children do what and listen to everything that you and the other parent say. Remember that the breakup of a marriage not only has an effect on you, but it affects the children as well.

Every family and divorce situation is different. It is important that a parent help their children through the divorce process. You may turn to your child custody lawyer or a family counseler for tips and advice. There are several tips that help a parent talk to their kids about the divorce. Both you and the other parent should take the time to sit down with the children and encourage them to talk about their feelings and their concerns.

 

Eliminate Blame

You will find that often the child will blame one of the parents or even themselves for the situation they find themselves in. It is essential that you and the other parent are prepared to answer questions the child may ask. This is why it is important to provide stability in the home. Attend to your child’s needs by putting their minds at ease in a positive manner.

 

The last thing you want your children to feel is like they have to take sides. They can feel a heavy burden, because they love both parents. You and the other parent should be cautious of your attitude and words that are being said, because this can cause an emotional pain for the child. Talk to your child and say loving, nurturing and positive things to them. They need to also here that you love them.

 

Be Honest

 

Tell your kids the truth about why you are getting a divorce. Don’t insult your child’s intelligence by lying to them. You can say something like “We are no longer getting along”. You don’t have to be harsh or use any negative words.

Stability and Structure
Some kind of stability and structure are things children needs, especially after a divorce. Children need to feel a sense of safety and love. After a divorce, children tend to feel abandoned. This is why setting up a visitation schedule with the absent parent is extremely important.

 

Routine helps children deal with a divorce a little better. Besides a visitation schedule, it is also important that kids eat dinner and go to bed at their regularly schedule time every day. Parents should try their best to be friends for the children’s sake. You don’t want to surround your children with hostility, anger, arguments or hurtful words. When you get into a heated argument with the other parent, you don’t realize the unkind words being spoken or how much you are yelling at each other.

 

Keep Arguments Away From Kids

 

The constant fighting in front of the children can leave them feeling vulnerable and frightened. This can result in your child having emotional or behavioral problems. Then that’s when you would have to take it to the next step and have them see a therapist.

Your Health is Priority
It is just as important that you take care of yourself. Your physical and mental state has to be taken care of, so that you can better provide the needs of your children.

 

Enlist Family and Friends

 

If you have friends or family, lean on them for some type of support. Write your feelings out in a journal or read books about positive things. Take the time to exercise and pampering yourself. You are not just fighting for your mental well-being, but your children’s, as well.

 

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